On the last Mindset Monday post I wrote about being stopped in your business and feeling like giving up.
Today I want to talk to you about being stopped by the fear of success.
This is something that very few people talk about and I’m sure if you take a look at yourself or ask people who are successful they at one time or another have come up against this. We all want success don’t we? But don’t you find yourself stopping when you are the cusp of success?
I’ve experienced this myself many times and am working to break through this fear. I’ve had breakdowns many
How do you know if your fear of success is stopping you?
Here’s a list of symptoms:
Fear of Success Symptom #1: Procrastination
Do you find yourself not doing something that you know you should be doing to help you attain that next level of success?
Yeah it’s scarey and lots of people have been afraid of success at one time or another in their life.
Not being focused on one thing
Are you scattered and working on many things at once and not taking things to completion or getting the results you seek? I was doing this in my business, a couple of years ago I had multiple businesses and that was stopping me from getting to the next level in my business. I gave one up and focused completely on the business I have now.
Fear of Success Symptom #2: You Experience a Breakdown
When things are going super well and you are on the verge of getting to the next level and you experience a set back in your business?
this is commonly known as hitting your upper limit and trust me I’ve been there many times! I’ve hit my limit several times when things were going really well and when the breakdown happened, I felt like giving up.
I was experiencing a level of success with building my list that I hadn’t experienced before and BAM! I hit my upper limit which caused a breakdown that took me right back into my comfort zone.
I read The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks which explores this phenomenon of why we put the breaks on and not allowing ourselves to achieve our true potential.
The great thing is that he says he hasn’t ever met a single person who doesn’t suffer at one time or another from this. Even Michael Dell of Dell Computers has experienced this too. The difference was that he was open to learning how to over come his upper limit problem.
Fear of Success Symptom #3: Not taking the right (or any) actions?
Talking a lot about success but not taking the right actions or any action at all? You know you want to start your business but you don’t have a website, Free Offer, Marketing Funnels or any content marketing? Or you have been taking lots of courses and not finishing?
Are you buying lots of stuff and not finishing. Jumping around from coaching program to coaching program?
You aren’t the only one who does this, I’ve been guilty of thinking as soon as I learn this I’ll be ready to X.
Taking action is all about incremental small steps if you’ve read the book the Compound Effect by Darren Hardy you’ll understand exactly what I am saying. And, whatever you are working on doesn’t have to be perfect, that’s just another excuse to not take action.
One of the best things you can do is to get an accountability partner or join a mastermind group.
I took the plunge this year and joined a mastermind group and the impact it has had on pushing me and my business to a higher level has been amazing. And when I felt like giving up or not taking any action I have my group to cheer me on and motivate me to keep moving forward.
Sources of the fear of success:
1. Fear that you will lose success
The higher we fly the farther we can fall. Yes, you can do this but by reaching that height you have learned the skills to become to successful you can do it again very easily!.
Chances are if you have been successful once you are more likely to be successful again. I’ve watched my husband go from being super successful, crashing and coming back.
And during it all, he never once lost his optimism even when we were experiencing a lot of really tough moments he (and I) both remained optimistic and focused on learning what we needed to learn from our failures so that when we came back we would be stronger than ever.
And if you are wondering, yes we have a happy ending to that crash!
2. Not knowing what to do when you become successful
Worrying about how to handle the money that comes with your success?
Learning to effectively manage both your mindset and the mechanics of managing your money is important. Most of us were never taught the right way to handle money from our parents.
Your capacity handle this will grow, you just need to find someone to teach you what to do with your money. Someone who is knowledgeable to help you manage your money. It’s not just about the money and finding people to help you.
Surround yourself with people who are at the same level as you are or a level above or below. Masterminds are a great place to learn what you need to do when you become successful.
Understand that success is really 80% mindset and only 20% mechanics.
3. Fear of Being Criticized by People Close to You
As you begin to become successful you may find that people may or may not be supportive of your success.
Are they really people you want to surround yourself with?
Remember that you deserve to be successful and happy and if people are jealous and critical of your success, you may need to rethink those relationships.
I remember when my husband became successful in his business the first time, some of his close friends teased him about his success. This teasing made him feel very uncomfortable and eventually, those friendships faded away. And because he was successful
You don’t want to sacrifice your dreams so that other people are more comfortable, do you?
4. Afraid of becoming someone you don’t like?
The great thing is here is that if you are even thinking about this you probably aren’t going to be that person.
The truth is success really just magnifies who you already are so unless you are taking a hard look at who you are and working to change the negative things they will show up. If you are already a negative or mean person, you aren’t going to change unless you are making a conscious effort to.
5. the Fear that you don’t deserve success
Finding yourself plateauing – is there something in my mindset that is stopping me? Again this is back to the question of hitting your upper limit and about your self-esteem.
You need to understand and believe in your value in order to overcome this obstacle. Mindset is oftentimes the only thing holding you back. You have all of the technical skills but without the right mindset, you don’t have the one thing you need to make the big leap forward.
Pick up a copy Six Pillars of Self Esteem by Nathanial Branden. His book is based upon the premise that high self-esteem is essential to achieving success both in work and our personal lives. You’ll want to pick this book up and
Listen to Brene Brown talk about her Book Daring Greatly she’s really inspiring:
6. Fear that you won’t be happy
Heard those stories about people who become successful with lots of money and they end up all alone and unhappy? Or how about people who worked themselves to death or the person who lives like a pauper only to have millions stashed away.
It doesn’t have to be that way, you can have success and balance in your life if you build your business the right way.
You certainly cannot do it all yourself nor should you. Focus on doing what you love best and what will make the biggest impact to build your business and delegate the rest.
Then focus on spending time away from your business and doing things for yourself that will make you happy. You’d be surprised, that the more time you spend away from your business will result in a flourishing business.
